India Don’ts
Ripped from my lifelong home, Austin, TX, at the pivotal age of 14, I was dropped into the middle of a whole new world, (cue the Aladdin theme song), India. I have learned a ton of things while I have been here, and I can save you a few years of struggling by sharing what I have learned while in India with you. (Stunning, I would actually write something myself, you know, as opposed to stealing a bunch of things from a book.)
While in India, there are a few things that may be hazardous to your health. These things should be avoided at all costs. Do NOT wash your hands before plugging ANYTHING into the wall….you will be jolted….literally. This happens, I assume, because of bad wiring, things not being properly grounded, and generally having way to many volts running through the wires. (240 as opposed to 120 in the U.S.)
If you get shocked, do not, under any circumstance, be sent to the hospital. If you get sent to the hospital you may end up with more holes in you than a tea strainer. When I went to the hospital in Chennai, where I am told they have good health care, I was partially convinced I had a blind nurse. Simply put, the nurses lack the ability to find veins to inject shots without first poking twenty test holes into your arm. If you go to somewhere with “bad” health care in India, I will make plans to attend your funeral soon after.
The monkeys will get angry, and they will chase you down if you make them angry. When I attended language school in Mussoorie, near Delhi, I learned that monkeys are definitely not cute. I previously thought that maybe I would be hanging out with Curios George, but now I have learned that if George was a real monkey, the man in the yellow hat would not have brought George home. One day walking, on my way to school, a monkey jumped out of a tree, onto the road, and started growling….more like screaming at me. I didn’t do anything to that particular monkey, but he was trying to pick a fight with me. Shortly there after, I made myself a slingshot. Then I learned that monkeys know exactly how slingshots work and can easily avoid the rocks, so I bought myself a pellet gun. In addition to not washing your hands before using electronics, not winding up in the hospital, and not trying to pet the monkeys, make sure not to sing in the shower, the water will make you sick.
